moving in with your partner

How to Smile More and Fight Less When You Move in with Your Partner

By on Aug 17, 2022

Whether you’re moving in with a significant other or beginning life as newlyweds, merging households can be a big test for a relationship. From under-the-breath comments about questionable decorating choices to butting heads on different housekeeping styles, putting together two individuals with years of time living alone can quickly become complicated—even if you love your partner dearly.

One trick for merging households is shifting your mindset.

Compromise is a bad word in the long run for a couple, so one way you can help ease the transition and reduce the fights is by shifting your emotional center from your physical space to your personal habits and your very being.

By making yourself your rock, you are better able to partner on the many decisions of organizing a home because these little things no longer matter as much for your emotional wellbeing.

This is a concept borrowed from Buddhism, and it exists in most faith traditions. But even if you are not into spirituality, this mindset shift can have very tangible benefits for you and your partner as you make the transition to living together.

The housing site, Redfin, recently used my advice in its article, Mi Casa Es Su Casa: Expert-Approved Tips on How to Harmoniously Merge Households. You can get more advice on moving in with your partner from the article or by contacting me for a one-on-one consult.

All the best on your exciting new journey with your partner!


Peter is founder of Kowalke Coaching. He also is founding director of the Philia Mission, a small charitable organization. Contact Peter.