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How to Tell You’ve Found “The One”

By on Apr 20, 2018

Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. Or so our popular culture tells us.

But if you internalize this belief, you’re in trouble.

While it is true that choosing a life partner has lifelong consequences and the choice should not be taken lightly, the reality is that most of us over-think the question and put off the decision as a result.

We date for a long time, maybe live together with someone. But often things don’t work out when we act this way. That’s because we haven’t actually given that critical full commitment to our relationship that enables it to last: We set up our relationship to fail because we’re scared of making this big decision.

Or sometimes it is worse.

Sometimes it is much worse. We keep dating new people, failing to ever decide on a life partner because we get really picky and chase an ideal instead of looking for a real person. Don’t make that mistake!

That’s not to say you should get married to someone you met online last week. Moving too fast also is not good. The trick is finding the right balance.

“Yes, have checkboxes. But don’t have too many checkboxes,” matchmaker Sasha Silberberg told me recently on an episode of my show, Talking Love. “Otherwise you’re going to find yourself in a position where you can’t find anyone who meets your standards.”

So how do you strike the right balance? How do you know when you’ve found “The One” and should make that deeper commitment?

Learn How This Saturday (for Free)

Join me and matchmaker Sasha Silberberg for a special live stream this Saturday at 12 Noon Eastern/9am Pacific as we talk about how you can identify “The One” for that deeper commitment.

Sasha and I will be giving the talk for free as part of a special Joy Love Club live event. Normally we charge $299 for access to Joy Love Club events, but this topic is so important that we want everyone to be able to attend.

So join us! Just click the link below to register.

Yes! Register Me for This Special Event!

I’m looking forward to seeing you there!


Peter is founder of Kowalke Coaching. He also is founding director of the Philia Mission, a small charitable organization. Contact Peter.